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5 entries this month
The last pain you will feel.....13:22 Dec 31 2005
Times Read: 674
Miles and Miles away were silent is the only you hear.
You look for answer, and there seem to be none.
SO in the fear of never known, never understanding.
You lash out in in anger, You strike at what you don't know. All th epain just pours from your soul. But you still fight to understand
why can this be.
But the whole time you lash out .
you were lashing out at yourself, you have hurt the one who can help you the most,
Yourself............
♠ Mystique ♠
~Single Parent~01:47 Dec 21 2005
Times Read: 686
Some days are better then others. You feel inside that this shouldn't be, be it is. You life have changed to surpport other life. Your body go thought so much pain and being out of shaped. But you did not do this alone. But yet and still you stand alone on your on two foot to get life.
You being this life into this world of pain, hatred, and sorrow. This little bundle of innocence. Be you reject this child because of your feelings. Of being left alone to handle such a task. And inside you feel like (why me, why do I have to be alone for this job). But then you look upon the little tiny part of you. And all the pain washes away, all the hatred in your just leaves. And the sorrow is now gone.
And you hold him/her inyour arms and your child looks up at you and silent fills your room. But alone one tear falls from your face. That is God answering in saying,"I never put more on you then you can bear".
In all in all, all you can say is Thank you Lord for a health child. And smile. and the child closes his/her eyes and falls sound asleep.
A never ending struggle, but as being a single parent, the joys of watching my children grow is a blessing. It is hard don't get me wrong.. I had all thos feeling of not wanting them in the beginning. But they are here and I would not change a thing now. And I thank the Lord each day for my girls.
Do you feel......01:44 Dec 21 2005
Times Read: 687
How do you know that you are being thought of. When you feel as thou no one thinks of you. And you can feel this. Do people really care when they say that do! Do he really mean it when she say that he loves you. Or Does she mean it. Do you feel that, what people say is not what they really what mean. Do you think they hate you? Do you feel as you life is meaningless?
When you say you love someone, do you mean it? Do you wait for the person to say it back to you, to confirm that they do. Or are you sure that they really do
So where is the love? Where is the truth in all of this madness? Have people really lost their heart for other people?
I guess this world is really going to hell..............
Labor Day is not good for my family........01:34 Dec 21 2005
Times Read: 689
On this sad day. I had to say good bye to one of my favorate Uncles. He use to call me his "Angel" And now I had to say "good bye" to him. I know I'm too old know to be called Angel now. But I just wanted him to call me angel just one more time of old time such.
Well God Bless him...... He will be very much missed.
I love you Uncle Mattew Gregory!
I hate this time of the year........01:29 Dec 21 2005
Times Read: 691
I work more and more this time of the year. Because I know if I'm not working I feel so lonely. And I hate that feeling. So I work......... But people tell me,all don't worring about it you will have your friends and you family around for the hoildays and you won't feel that way no more.
But guess what people....I much more lonely then ever. It is a feeling of wanting to be close to the one that you hold dear to your heart and it hurts because you can't be close to that person. And you keep saying to yourself over and over again that you will see him/her soon.
And you become depressed because that person is not there with you to hold you and make you feel loved. Or just basicly there for you.
So for me the hoildays has become the worst times of the year for me............
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